The year is coming to a close, and it's been a long time since I wrote anything on here.
I've been fast forwarding to the future, and then zipping back to the past, and I wonder where the year went and how it will go. There were difficult times, but also happy times. Same old, same old.
It will only be sometime in the future when I reminisce back to this time, will I truly know how this year was for me. Will I smile? Will I frown at the memories? Will I just shake my head and try to forget this year ever happened?
I've learnt so much, felt feelings and emotions I never thought I would experience.
I'm scared of letting go, scared of dynamics changing between relationships, scared of the future, or rather, the uncertainty of the future.
Am I ready for this?
It'd be kinda weird living without a roommate. I enjoy my own space, but hearing experience from some friends with single rooms this year, I hear how lonely it can get in there. We were joking about how our last tie with each other is our shared phone plan. I love spending time with her, but I know the friction we went through this year, and I think this might help. It might be strange to say this, but I think the distance will help us stay close. Not as close as before, but I'll be happy anyway.
It'll be an adventure. It is worth living for. That's what I keep telling myself anyway, but I can't stop myself from worrying and being nervous about the future. I want to be in love with people, with the job, with life. I guess I'll never know. I'll just have to take it as it comes.
