We got a new fish recently.
Well, not "we" exactly, but it's not like my dad keeps the fish in his room.
His name is Jack.
My father is very creative with names.
He named the dogs on his farm according to their colours.
Unfortunately, three of them are white, so he couldn't very well call all of them "Whitey".
It's alright though, he figured out a solution.
He calls them "Big White", "Little White" and "Tiny White".
It makes more sense in Chinese I guess, but the point here is to emphasis my dad's creativity, or lack of it, I should say.
And you can say, "But surely it's not that bad? After all, he named your fish Jack! That's definitely not a colour!"
If dad named Jack after colours, he'd be called Redbluegreenblackandalil'purple.
And the only reason why Jack is Jack is because the past four fish have all been Jacks.
I named the very first Jack.
Dad's logic is:
Same species = same name
Anyway, I've gone on too much about how the name came about.
I felt a little sorry that this Jack has to shoulder the burden of dad's boring names, so I've decided to jazz up Jack as much as I could, so I added an H into his name.
Do fish have shoulders?
Now it's "Jhack".
I call him J-Hack.
I was watching J-Hack in his little fish tank, just minding his own business.
Then he got hungry, and decided to go after the little fish that were also in his tank.
He's a motherfucking giant compared to the other fish, and I think they were pretty terrified.
They were probably thinking: "Noooo. He's going to eat mehhh."
He chased the little creatures tirelessly and finally caught one in his mouth.
Then he spat his prey back out. I was pretty surprised, and I told the little fish "Get away, little fish!", which was pretty unnecessary, because the little fish was obviously not going to swim back into J-Hack's mouth.
I watched as J-Hack went after the school of tiny fish again and again, targeting the same fish each time, just sucking the poor thing into his mouth, then spitting him back out. After about ten rounds, the little fish was half-dead and it started to drift belly-up towards the surface of the water.
J-Hack then decided to eat the mangled fish's head, and left it's fishy little corpse (without the head) floating around his tank, terrorizing the other fish.
I watched J-Hack with amusement, and I began to grow fond of the sadistic fish.
I sit at the table whilst I'm revising, near the tank, and I could occasionally hear the sound of water splashing and gulping sounds. Every time I hear it, I think "Atta boy, J-Hack."
I would also think "I need a life, because I often spend up to half and hour just staring at fish."
But then I think "It beats revision."
So I leave it at that.
