The Exciting, Dress Shopping Adventure of a Girl who Hates Dresses

When I agreed to go dress shopping, or dress hunting as I call it, with my mother on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, I slapped myself.
It's like agreeing to dip your hand into toxic waste and see whether you actually get superpowers or not.
It could end up really well. Or really bad.

I got into the car with my mum and she asked me where I wanted to go. It was around 3pm and I haven't had lunch, so I said anywhere with food. So she drove me to a clothes shop called Le Ann Maxima or something.Which makes sense in mother logic, because a clothes shop totally has food for a hungry teenager.

We go in and start looking around. I make a circle around the shop and came back to my mother, who has moved, like, 2 metres. I said, there's nothing here, let's go. She said, impossible, this shop is massive. So we spent about an hour there. She found a dress for me to try on, and stuffed me into the dressing room. I looked at the dress and my eyes immediately narrowed at it. I didn't like it very much.
I put it on, zipped it up, and looked in the mirror. I tapped the mirror to make sure it wasn't a two way mirror. I'm paranoid like that. Then some woman outside startled me.
"Hey miss! Miss! I got more dresses for you! Can come inside?"
"No."
"Oh, okay! I wait. Do you need help?"
"No."

I scrutinised myself, then poked my head out from the dressing room. There was a tiny lady with the name tag: Kelly, and an armful of clothes standing outside. I asked for my mother.
She gave me the armful of clothes and I tried to push it back at her. What the fuck. Do people usually stuff clothes at customers in a clothes shop?
Oh wait. I guess they would.

My mum went trigger happy without me next to her to shoot down all her suggestions.
I was stuck in the dressing room. The dresses kept coming.
Kelly was not helping me in any way.

My mother has horrible tastes. Kelly had slightly better ones.
Nevertheless.

I had a pretty hard time in that little dressing room.
Not accustomed to wearing dresses, I would get into a dress, get my mother's opinion on it, express my own (which is usually "It's ugly." or "I don't like it."), then get out of the dress.
I had trouble getting in and out of the dresses. Are they supposed to go over your head? Or are you supposed to step in them?
I got stuck in a dress so many times I lost count.
I usually got into them okay, but when it comes to taking them off...
It would get stuck around my shoulders or around my hips.
On my first dress, I sat on the floor and thought of a rational way to take the dress off without just ripping it off me. Then I realised I had a zipper on the side. Aha.

I rejected every dress. They were just. Not very nice. But then I don't think any dress looks nice.
I finally persuaded my mum to leave and as we were about to leave, she sees this dress that has somehow managed to slip past her gaze. That is pretty darn impressive, because I was sure my mother has touched all the dresses in the shop.

She quickly grabbed the dress, all excited, then turns to me saying "WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?? IT LOOKS SO NICE!"
Well. She said that in Chinese, but yeah.
I looked at it.
The bottom of the skirt was black, then slowing, going up the dress towards the top, the black turned into little, scattered shapes. There were small, dark butterflies sewn all over that dress.
I laughed. My date would love this.

I said no, and walked out.

I finally got some chow at Gurney and we went to go hunt down more dresses.
The next five shops ended the same as the first one did.

I hate shopping. Much less, dress shopping.
My adventure thus ended for the day. Without a dress. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On the up side, there's a new ice cream shop in Gurney.
Yeah.

Jyen, you're probably going to need a new date if this doesn't turn out well.

Trains

Choices.

1. I would let the train run over 4 people. Wisdom from a 15 year old today.If you don't do anything, they can hardly blame you. And those 4 people are dumb fucks.
Would you really watch a train come, and then allow it to hit you?
Oh look, Bob! A train! Let's just keep working. It will totally hit us, but we need to work. Our contract states that we need to risk our lives to fix railway tracks. Yus.

2. I would totally let that train run over my mother. I think she would be proud of herself if she knew that she saved 4 people. She would also be extremely pissed at me for pulling the lever, but by then, that hardly matters anymore.
But in all seriousness. Utilitarianism for the win.

3.  I would also shove that fat guy off the bridge to stop the train from running over four people. Yes. This totally contradicts my first choice. But once again. Wisdom from a 15 year old.
Wouldn't it be... quite fun to shove that obese kid off a bridge? Society doesn't need someone that fat anyway. And I think, instead of putting me in jail, they'll give me a title of justice, exterminating the obese in return for quadruple healthy lives. Utilitarianism. For. The. Win.

It is quite interesting how most little kids love their mothers, and are not afraid to kill fat men to save lives.
I applaud them.